


3rd September

by robron_til_the_end



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 09:21:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11529309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robron_til_the_end/pseuds/robron_til_the_end
Summary: Moments on this day throughout the years, from Robert's perspective. Snapshots of Robert and Aaron's life together. Canon compliant (but happy ending). Rebecca's only mentioned from a distance, doesn't actually appear





	3rd September

**Saturday 3rd September 2016 11:04 am.**

Robert can barely tell which way’s up any more. Him and Aaron have been at it for hours, his body is tired and aching in that perfect way only sex can bring. He must have slept for a little because he doesn’t remember Aaron getting out of bed, and yet he’s alone. The bed smells of sex and stale sweat and really Robert should get up and have a shower. But there’s a chance (admittedly, small) that Aaron might bring him up some breakfast. And really, he’s too comfortable to move, too happy.

Aaron comes back into the room wet, he’s been in the shower then, towel hanging from his hips. Even though it’s been a long morning session of sex, part of Robert just wants. He looks so good, and the confidence, the simple no shame with which he carries himself and his scars… well, it’s brave and Robert loves him and wants his and lusts for him and…

“Can see what you’re thinking from the look on your face,” Aaron says with a smirk, a smirk that he learned from Robert. “I’m too sore.”

“You all right?” Robert asks, concerned.

Aaron smiles and sits on the edge of the bed, pressing a kiss to Robert’s lips, soft and reassuring. “I’m great.”

“Get back in bed,” Robert says softly, it’s his _Aaron_ voice, he knows. Just from the look on Aaron’s face even though he rolls his eyes. “We’ve got all day, nowhere to be, nothing to do. And I love you.”

“You stink,” Aaron says which feels like an odd compliment. “You need a shower.

“Can’t move,” Robert pouts. “Want my boyfriend to get back in bed with me.”

“You stink, and we need to change the sheets.

“Well it’s not my fault you kept going on and on and on, is it?”

“You weren’t complaining an hour ago,” Aaron says with a carefree smile on his face, leaning into a kiss. “I have to get dressed, we can’t spend all day in bed.”

“Shame.” Aaron moves around the room, dressing and Robert is content to watch. To admire the play of muscles of his boyfriends body, the way he’s comfortable in Robert’s presence. He never thought he’d get this. Never thought he’d want this, and yet he does. He hopes he never tires of this.

* * *

**Sunday 3rd September 2017, 4:19 pm.**

They’ve reached a kind of truce, a kind of peace. A state of no more pain, no more lying, being civil, being here. And yet they’re not quite there yet. Robert wants desperately to get more from Aaron, to be able to be where they were before. Before things got messed up and so complicated and he screwed up. Though with Aaron there will always be complicated, of course there will. But hopefully not this painful. And Robert wants to come home. He wants to go to the Mill, he wants to wake up with Aaron, he wants his old life back. He wants his old view of the future back and he’s not ready to give up yet.

It’s a lazy day in the village, nothing open. A Sunday, and this _not so quiet_ Yorkshire village tends to stick to businesses being closed on Sundays. So he can’t sit in the pub nursing a beer, he can’t take up root in the café, he’s left wandering the village hoping for a familiar face to take pity on him before he returns to the B and B. Another night of empty walls and losing hope.

Aaron’s ring is on a chain around his neck. The only way he could keep it close to him, touching his skin and yet not spend every waking moment begging for him to talk, to take him back. He would have worn it on his finger, but Aaron’s is a little smaller than his and it doesn’t quite fit. Maybe if he continues not eating it’ll fit eventually.

“I said I wasn’t going to do this, but what’re you doing Robert?” He looks up to see Aaron having come from the house, the Mill. “You’ve walked back and forth five times to my knowledge. What’re you playing at?”

“I… sorry,” Robert says. “I was distracted.”

“Robert, come on.”

“I’ll go…” He’d been about to say “home” but he doesn’t have one. “Sorry.”

“Robert, I miss you.” He wonders if he’s lost his hearing on top of everything else.

“I miss you, too,” he replies. Because it’s the truest thing he knows. He loves Aaron, of course. That probably won’t change in his entire life even if he never gets him back. But the absence, the missing, the longing. The fact he can’t roll over in the middle of the night and press his nose to the back of Aaron’s neck and breathe him in. The fact he can’t create mundane conversation about what’s for tea. About which football match they’re going to watch tonight, which is a conversation Robert never does more than nod and “mm” to.

“Look, Rob, I don’t know how we’re going to do this. I don’t know if we’re capable of getting back to anything like we were, but God, I miss you so much.”

“Aaron, what are you trying to tell me?” Robert asks. He can’t take in the subtleties, he can’t allow himself to. Because if Robert allows himself to hope, and nothing happens…

“I want us to try,” Aaron says. “I need us to try if you still…”

“Yes,” Robert cuts him off instantly. That isn’t even a question, and he does notice when Aaron’s eyes lighten. 

“I’m not ready for you to live here,” Aaron says, nodding at the house. “But I can’t get rid of us for one mistake when I’m still in love with you.”

“Do you mean that?”

“Yeah,” Aaron says. “I know this isn’t going to be easy. I know that.”

“If we’re even going to start, I need you to promise me you’ll talk to me,” Robert says. It’s so hard to even say this, so desperate he is for Aaron’s arms. But it needs saying. “No more bottling things up.”

“Fine, but that’ll go for both of us,” Aaron says. “I can’t read your mind. When you’re thinking about Rebecca or the baby, you’re going to have to tell me. We need to talk to each other.”

“Agreed,” Robert says. “I can’t lie to you and I don’t want to.”

“Okay,” Aaron says, and he’s pleased, Robert can tell. “Please stop walking past the house, you’re making it look untidy.” Robert smiles and nods. It is a very tentative start. And that's all he wants.

* * *

**Monday 3rd September 2018. 6:54 am.**

Robert goes down the stairs, quietly. He’s not really fully awake yet, but he hasn’t been woken by screaming and the bed was empty, so Aaron must have got up with the baby. Robert peers around the door frame and stops, smiling. It’s so domestic, it’s so them and it’s perfect. This was not the plan for his life, not by a long shot. And every development, every change that got him here, he fought it with all he had. Falling in love with Aaron, he fought. His job, he fought to stay at Home Farm, The White empire for a lot longer than he should when he knew it wasn’t making him happy. He fought like hell to have nothing to do with his sons life because the timing, the circumstances, not to mention the mother were so damn inconvenient and at one point he thought it’d break him, break them.

“Come on, eat your breakfast,” Aaron says almost under his breath. He’s certainly not speaking to Jamie, the nearly ten month old blonde monster in his high chair, blinking at Robert with blue eyes. Robert winks at him, though he’s far too young to understand that, but Robert watches as Aaron rambles, moving around the kitchen so naturally it’s like he was born to it. To be this version of himself.

Aaron quickly butters some toast before cutting it into strips and putting it on Jamie’s high chair. Robert’s and Rebecca’s son he might be, but Jamie’s discovering a love of toast that is all Aaron. It was his favourite thing once they started him on solid food and that’s not changed. Yet.

Things are good lately, things are so good that Robert’s almost waiting for the other shoe to drop. He’s not this lucky, things don’t stay good for this long.

“Once you’re fed, I’ll give you over to daddy, then wake auntie Liv up. She can’t be late to school, no matter how much she’d enjoy that,” he adds quietly.

Robert’s mission to stand and watch his husband and son without Aaron knowing is blown by Jamie. He smiles a wide grin and points to the doorway. Aaron follows and smiles at Robert who now walks into the kitchen, ruffling Jamie’s hair before his hands slot familiarly above Aaron’s hips, pulling the smiling man into a kiss. 

“You all right?” Aaron says, his gruff tone belying the warmth there.

“Yes,” Robert replies, never having felt more sure in his life. Robert had had a few times where his confidence had been totally shaken, being a single parent to Jamie now that Rebecca’s no longer here. How would he possibly cope with that? But once Aaron had fallen in love with the boy… well, he was never going to be a single parent, and he knew that. No matter the ups and downs in their own relationship, Aaron wouldn’t leave Jamie, he knows what being left feels like, and Robert for his part wouldn’t keep him from Jamie either. Whether they were together or not.

“Hey, can you get Liv up?” Aaron asks. “She can’t miss school. If she misses any more her teachers are going to kill me. And it's only the first day of term.”

“Yeah, I’ll do it,” Robert agrees. “See you in a minute champ,” he adds to Jamie before climbing the stairs again. He’s in love with his life right now.

* * *

**Tuesday 3rd September 2019 11:57 pm.**

Aaron’s not sleeping. Not that Robert can blame him exactly, sleeps hard to come by the day before the verdict and the waiting is terrible. Aaron curls into Robert’s back, the sheets tangled around them both.

“Rob?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m scared.”

“Yeah.”

“What if she…?”

“Liv will be fine,” Robert reassures, though it’s not like he could say anything else, is it? Her not being fine is not an option for either of them. They need to believe she’ll be fine, whatever verdict is returned tomorrow, guilty or not guilty. “She’s seventeen, even if it goes badly it’ll be a reduced sentence. And it’ll be in young offenders, not an actual prison. I mean, it’s bad but it could be worse.”

“She shouldn’t be there anyway, this is so unfair,” Aaron says. Robert tucks him up in his arms, holding him close. He can’t really do anything practical, but any warmth that Aaron can get from him, any comfort, it’s worth it.

“And the jury will see that,” Robert says with a confidence he doesn’t really feel. It’s fifty fifty what’s going to happen in the morning, and they both know Liv isn’t sleeping either. The only person in this house who is is Jamie. “With the amount I've paid for lawyers, she better be fine," he says, then seeing that isn't comforting his husband, Robert tries something else. "She’s tough, she’ll cope if it goes bad.”

“I should have taken the blame,” Aaron curses under his breath.

“You tried, remember?” Robert says. “She wouldn’t let you sell your life away. And you know what, I wouldn’t either. Because for you it would be life, with your record.” Aaron scoffs. “I’m just saying it how it is. And you have no motive, it‘d have looked like a thug killing someone because he can, whereas…”

“Stop being so rational!” Aaron snaps. “Tell me good things.”

“It was self defence,” Robert says quietly. “We all know that, she never meant to kill him.”

“I know, but…” Aaron started.

“Liv’s a fireball,” Robert says, changing tactic instantly. “If she wasn’t, she’d never be here anyway. She‘ll be okay. And Gabby‘s evidence helped, you know that.”

“Doesn’t stop me from being frightened for her,” Aaron says. “I wouldn’t wish prison on anyone, not least my baby sister. She’s so young…”

“The jury will be on her side. Come on, get some rest.”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Well, no, neither can I,” Robert says. “Just try. For me.” And Aaron does.

* * *

 

**Thursday 3rd September 2020, 5:29 pm.**

Robert walks into the pub and smiles. Liv’s behind the bar and that is an image he just can’t get used to, despite the fact she’s now eighteen. “Hi,” she says with a smile, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Aaron’s over there.” Robert turns and sees Aaron looking after Jamie. Nearly three now, chatty and charming and something their lives seem to revolve around in the best possible way.

“Ice cream!” Jamie shouts when Robert sits opposite them, pausing to kiss Aaron gently.

“Have you eaten your dinner?” Robert asks, mock stern.

“Yes daddy,” he pleads, and looking at Aaron he can see that’s the truth.

“Mm, all right then,” Robert says, nodding at Liv who grins before going into the kitchen.

Aaron clears his throat. “I want more.” The words make Robert freeze completely, because God no. This is what Robert always fears, that one day Aaron will wake up and realise Robert’s not enough for him. That Aaron will want someone better than him, someone who has always treated him right. Not the mess he currently is and always has been. “Get that look of your face,” Aaron says. “It was just an idea, forget it.”

“No, what was an idea?” Robert pushes. Aaron doesn’t look like he was going to ditch him, now the pure panic’s gone. Liv comes over with Jamie’s ice cream, which he almost pounces on.

“Liv, can you take him?” Aaron asks.

“Er, I’m working?”

“It’s quiet, come on,” Aaron said. “I want a word with him,” he adds, nodding at Robert.

“Fine,” Liv says with an exaggerated sigh. “Want to come and annoy aunt Vic in the kitchen?”

“No,” Jamie says bluntly, still focusing on his ice cream.

Liv goes to her stage whisper. “There might be chocolate in it for you.”

“Oh!” and Jamie grabs her hand before toddling off behind the bar, then to the kitchen.

“Should I be worried?” Robert asks, trying to discern what he’s thinking just by looking at Aaron’s face. “You know he’s going to be on a sugar rush and we’ll never get him to bed now. This is important, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know how exactly to bring this up. I don’t even know what you think about it, but… I want more.”

“More what?” Robert asked bluntly.

“Liv’s grown, she’s done. I want…”

“More kids,” Robert says, it suddenly dawning on him what Aaron’s getting at. “That’s what you mean, isn’t it?”

Aaron looks shy. “I mean… yeah. I love Jamie, you know I do, but… he’s not really mine and it was so hard when we knew he was on the way, and…”

“He is yours,” Robert says. “He calls you dad, he knows who you are.”

“I know,” Aaron says. “I do know that, I just… He’ll be at school soon, Liv’s done and happy and… I want more. I mean, if that’s something you…”

“Yes,” Robert interrupts. He doesn’t have to think about it, he knows the answer.

“It’s probably not going to be easy with my record,” Aaron says. “If we go for adoption, and…”

“Aaron, stop talking,” Robert says, covering his hand on the table with his own. “Yes. Whatever we have to do, yes.”

“Really?” Aaron asks, eyes lighting up a little with hope.

“Yes,” Robert says. “I didn’t want to bring it up because… I didn’t want to rock the boat. When I proposed to you…”

“Robert…”

“Let me finish.” Aaron nods for him to go on. “When I proposed, it wasn’t because I loved you, though I do. But that wasn’t the reason. The reason was I could not imagine any other way for my life to go than spending it with you. And yeah, it’s taken a few rocky patches…” Aaron snorts. “But I still feel exactly the same. I want to spend my life with you, all the ups and downs, whatever happens. Before you, I was… okay, being on my own. Managing by myself, but once I’d met you, our lives became so entwined that… I couldn’t imagine being without you. That has never changed since I proposed to you.” Aaron smiles softly.

“So… we can look into it?” Aaron suggests. He’s shy. He’s nervous about voicing something he wants, because in Aaron’s life it’s rare he gets anything he wants, Robert knows. He leans across the table and kisses Aaron gently, hoping that’s answer enough, all the love he feels poured into one kiss. 

“How long’ve you been thinking about this?” Robert asks.

“A while,” Aaron says. “But we’re happy and I didn’t want to do… anything to change that, even though I want this. And it wouldn’t be about favouritism, I wouldn’t replace Jamie…”

“I know,” Robert says. That is not a worry of his. Aaron has such a big heart when he lets people in, he’d love all their children the same. No matter how many they end up having. Robert leans over the table and kisses him again, leaving Aaron smiling.

* * *

**Thursday 3rd September 2026. 4:00 pm.**

It’s quite possibly the last bit of sunshine of the year. Last hot sunshine anyway, and Robert’s lying in the garden appreciating it. He’s shirtless, soaking it up having given up on work for the afternoon. It’s too nice to be working anyway. 

He’s forty now, feeling a few more aches in his body than he did in his youth, so it’s nice just to lay down and relax for a little bit. He never really noticed the six years between Aaron and him until he reached this latest milestone birthday. He’s not as fit as he used to be, and all of a sudden he’s got sensitive at Aaron’s reminder that he’s younger and fitter; though he is. Aaron had only made fun of him once, before realising it was cutting a little close to home. Then making love to him for hours which still has Roberts knees shaking when he thinks about it too much.

Robert can hear the church clock chime the hour, a few seconds later the rumble of a school bus from the main road. His peace is about to be broken, he knows. But it’s by his family, so they can get away with it. His kids can get away with everything. Well, until they’re teenagers anyway, and the problems start getting a little more serious and less playful. But they're at least a couple of years away from that yet. Right now they’re young enough that they’re still cute, even Jamie. He can hear them come into the garden, but keeps his eyes closed. Which thirty seconds later he realises was a massive mistake.

Someone (Robert is almost certain it’s Jamie) pours a bucket of cold water on his chest, making Robert shout and jump up in shock, spluttering as the cold water glints off of him. Chloe and Jamie are laughing, Chloe’s giggling in particular is so infectious that he can’t stay mad.

“Right, which one of you was that?” Robert asks, glaring them down. Chloe’s hiding behind her big brother, face now red and Robert revises his opinion. It was her.

“Daddy told me to!” she piped up. Robert looks at the back door of the house, seeing his husband standing there, leaning against the door frame and he’s laughing too. Maybe he can blame Aaron for this after all.

“Chloe, go and get me the hose pipe,” Robert says calmly. She does, her black curls almost bouncing as she runs, Jamie following her and switching it on. Aaron comes out of the house, closing the door and stepping onto the grass.

“What’re you doing?” he asks, though it’s obvious by now, Aaron’s smile tells him so.

“You started this,” Robert warns, taking the hosepipe and spraying Aaron. It descends quickly into a messy water fight filled with laughter and joy and Robert can’t remember seeing Aaron so happy, pure and easy and the four of them are soaked through in minutes.

Chloe’s laughter is more like a high pitched screaming and Jamie has found the balloons they keep in the kitchen draw and starting to fill them, making everyone drenched.

When they’re totally out of energy, they lie on the grass, gasping for breath. They’ll have to wash Chloe and Jamie’s school uniform tonight, it’s muddy and splattered and completely ruined. Aaron gently rubs a spot of mud from Chloe’s forehead and she beams at her father.

“I’m hungry,” Chloe pouts.

“Trust you to be the one to point that out!” Robert says. “You’re just like your father.” Aaron’s stomach grumbles loudly as if on cue, and they all laugh.

“Come on,” Aaron says, getting up. “Dad’ll cook while I try and make you two look like you haven’t been rolling around in a mud pit all afternoon. How was school?” Chloe’s young enough that she’s eager to tell him all about it, while Jamie shrugs and says “fine.” Aaron ruffles his hair as they go inside and Robert turns the hose pipe off. The windows are open from the house and he can hear Aaron chatting to their children.

And Robert wonders if it’s possible to burst with happiness.


End file.
